


my heart is thrilled by the still of your hand

by hullomoon



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Grief, Growing Old Together, Hands, Implied/Referenced Secondary Character Death, M/M, Massage, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:15:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22868473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hullomoon/pseuds/hullomoon
Summary: A look at David and Patrick's relationship through the years through touch.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 12
Kudos: 94





	1. David's hands

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was supposed to be only one of the scenes, but then i started thinking about hands, and then i saw these [two](https://hullomoon.tumblr.com/post/190901368467) [gifsets](https://hullomoon.tumblr.com/post/190940574927/oscarspoe-david-rose-has-a-bit-of-a-patrick?is_related_post=1) and the rest was history.
> 
> thanks as always go to bea fo looking this over.
> 
> title of the story comes from hozier's no plan

It started with a simple handshake. Patrick hadn’t expected to be so affected by it, but then again he didn’t know how much David would continue to affect him.

The handshake was solid, points of coolness brought on by the rings on David’s hand. It was brief and professional. As David talked, Patrick watched as those hands gestured, cutting through the air in arcs. It was like a dance, and he grinned as David muddled through his explanation. 

When David came back, Patrick thought about those hands again. It surprised him a bit and he didn’t know how to process it. 

Working with David gave Patrick many opportunities to see his hands as they moved product, carefully affixing labels, turning the bottles and jars just so to create displays that showcased them to their fullest potential. Hands brushing when they reach the same item or watch the precision David takes at gift-wrapping an item, smoothing out the wrapper and tying the ribbon. The hug after their opening was almost too much, the hand firmly pressed on his back made him want to fall into the touch and let all of his feelings for David out at once.

Patrick may have liked David’s hands when they first met, but they were even better once they started dating. Their first kiss had David gently cupping Patrick’s face. His fingers caressing Patrick’s face as if it was something precious, not quite a grip as if afraid Patrick would pull away. In the beginning, David’s touches were fleeting, unsure, trying to give Patrick space and keeping his promise of going slow. He cherished every touch, anticipating when the next would come. As he started to relax, Patrick noticed that the touches increased, becoming steady and sure, resolute that David had his permission to touch. He noticed David seek the touch, his shoulders were a common spot. A quick arm rub before he circled his shoulders, sometimes using his thumbs to dispel tension that formed there.

The casual touches were nice, but having the time to connect and explore was something Patrick craved and when he finally got those touches, they were better than he expected. David was gentle at first, asking Patrick where he wanted to be touched, carefully exploring his body. Each touch lit him up, it had never been like this with Rachel, David’s touch pulled moans and gasps from him. Strong hands stroked, explored, caressed, making Patrick come undone. And when they were finished, those same hands carefully helped clean him off, soothe beard-burned skin, or cuddle up into him.

The week that he didn’t really see David was an awful experience. It made it more clear how much David touched him or the way they hovered near each other, close enough to feel each other’s body heat. Patrick had never been more grateful for a hug, no matter how awkward it was. The tentative pat on the back was almost enough for him to come undone. He had messed up with David, but if they could be friends that should be enough. It wasn’t until later after David’s olive branch when David was finally touching him again, Patrick breathed easy.

After that, the touches were different, almost a different kind of comfortable, the sort that happens once you’ve been with a person for a while. Hands on Patrick’s shoulders continued to be a constant, but they seemed less deliberate. Instead of a way to calm Patrick or soothe David’s nerves, it was an absentminded touch, one sometimes he didn’t even notice David doing until Stevie made a gagging sound and called them ‘too lovey-dovey.’ He leaned into David’s touch when he confessed he hadn’t told his parents about David, he felt like he didn’t deserve it, but it was all that he wanted at that moment. 

When the stick lodged its way into his shoe he knew there was no way to salvage the day. He’d have to put the proposal off, probably until he was done with Cabaret, that was if he could at this point anymore. But then David carefully took off his shoe, fingers lightly grazing the bottom of his foot as he applied the hand sanitizer, and he thought maybe it was alright to keep trying. Seeing David hold the box, eyes quickly glancing at his currently silver-ringed hand, and later when Patrick slowly put the gold rings one at a time on his hand, Patrick knew it had been the right decision. 

Their wedding was a day Patrick would cherish. Standing next to David in front of all of their family, hands clasped together as they exchanged their vows. Their connected hands gave him a point to focus on when it became too much to look into David’s eyes. When he placed the ring on Patrick’s hand he took a second to brush across it before holding his hand again. 

As they furthered into their marriage he watched the new things David could do with his hands. Paint-splattered hands transforming the walls of their home or delicately holding a paintbrush to create small accents. Flour-dusted, creating bread and cookies that Patrick couldn’t get enough of. Hands that continued to care, comfort, and support him. 

\---

David glanced over and saw Patrick sitting at his desk, the light of his laptop reflected on his face. It was eleven o’clock and he’d promised to stop working at ten. They had been together long enough that David knew it was a lie. Getting up from their bed he walked over and sat his hands on Patrick’s shoulders. He felt the tension coming from them and gave a light squeeze.

Patrick turned to face him, his brow quickly relaxing when he realized it was David.

“I’m almost finished with this give me five minutes.”

David softly smiled, “You tell me that and next thing I know it’s thirty minutes and you have ‘just one more thing,’” he teased. He took Patrick’s hands and pulled him up, “Come on let’s get you into bed.” He gave Patrick a light push and he started walking forward.

When they approached the bed Patrick sat down and took his glasses off. It had taken David several years, a wrong invoice order, and a trip to the eye doctor before Patrick admitted he needed glasses. David remembered rolling his eyes because his husband had not only gone decades without needing glasses but still only needed them for reading, so he didn’t even wear them all the time. No matter how much David told him he still looked handsome, Patrick still pouted about it. So in solidarity, David started wearing his glasses when they were at home. The positive reaction out of Patrick, a hurried, through fucking on the couch, convinced David to wear them pretty much all the time now. The compliments from others about gracefully aging and the time Patrick’s cousin’s kid ripped his contacts might have also played a factor. 

Now, with the glasses off, he looked softer. His crow’s eyes were more pronounced and David walked over to brush greying hair off his forehead. Turning to the bedside table he pulled out a small bottle from the drawer, setting it on top. He took off his rings and placed them in the dish. Patrick had started taking off his shirt and David nudged him to stand up so he could divest Patrick of his pants and underwear.

“I know it’s getting late, but if you want I can give you a massage.”

Patrick looked up from pulling off his socks, “That would be nice.”

“Mmm, a little more enthusiasm would be nice, but I think I’ll be getting that soon enough,” David said, punctuating the statement with a light smack of Patrick’s ass.

Patrick laid down on the bed, arms tucked under his head. David clambered onto the bed, straddling Patrick, careful to not put too much weight on Patrick’s legs. Leaning over to reach the massage oil he heard Patrick quickly inhale as the soft fabric of David’s shirt moved across his back. Settling back down David opened the bottle pouring a small amount before he placed his hands on Patrick’s shoulders.

He knew Patrick was tense, had felt it earlier, but now with his attention on Patrick’s body, he seemed aware of the tension he carried throughout his body. It was the end of a fiscal quarter, which always led to some tension and compounded with Patrick stressing out about his parents’ health, David was determined for Patrick to get some relaxation.

He slowly moved his hands, feeling Patrick relax under his fingertips. The smell of lavender filled the room, it wasn’t too overpowering, just enough to tell what it was. David hoped it’d help Patrick fall asleep more peacefully. As he moved to different body parts he kept up a quiet commentary, occasionally asking questions to make sure Patrick was still awake.

“You need to take better care of yourself. It’s not good for your health to be this tense all the time. You should join Twyla’s yoga sessions some time. I have it on good authority it’s so relaxing you’ll fall asleep.”

Patrick’s snort was muffled by the bedsheet, “That’s because you hadn’t slept in days. Those other times I think it’s just because you’ve gotten old and clearly it’s your bedtime.”

“Beauty sleep is important. If anything my falling asleep should be a ringing endorsement for the classes. Besides, I’ve never heard you complain about how flexible I’ve gotten since I started going.”

Patrick hummed, “It’s very beneficial.” 

“After you finish the paperwork for this quarter we could always take a small trip. Go to the spa we found after your car broke down that one time. I think Nikki has been working long enough to handle the store on her own for a few days.”

“That would be nice,” Patrick sighed, “You really liked their steam room, and we could even take a bath together.”

He moved to Patrick’s arms, feeling the muscle in his biceps, trailing down until he got to his hands. He didn’t really massage as just hold Patrick’s hand, fingertips tracing the lines in his palm, feeling the calluses underneath. These hands had done so much, were capable of so much. He flipped the hand over and gave a quick kiss to the knuckles, before moving to Patrick’s legs.

When he got a lack of response as he started to knead Patrick’s ass he looked over to see he had fallen asleep. His mouth puffed as he breathed in and out and David lamented over the fact he’d have to wear earplugs tonight. He’d tried once to put in Patrick’s anti-snore device when he was asleep and not only did Patrick wake up but almost gave him a bloody nose when David’s hand jerked and shoved it further up his nose. He would not be making that mistake again so instead he got up and headed to the bathroom to wet a washcloth. He slowly tried to wipe any excess oil away, knowing that the sheets would be a lost cause come morning. Stripping out of his clothes he got under the sheets and cuddled up against Patrick taking his hand in his. Giving it a gentle squeeze he closed his eyes, his breath slowing until he fell asleep. 

\---

Dealing with loss would never be easy. Patrick understood that it was a part of life, birth and death were the only two constants. He had been physically and emotionally exhausted for days and after dropping a bowl, shattering it to pieces, and staring at it instead of cleaning it up David had gently guided him to their bedroom with strict instructions to lie down until everyone left. Unsure of how much time had passed but also not wanting to get up he stayed curled up on the bed.

When the door clicked open he turned his head to see David in the doorway, a small smile was on his face, it looked like he was trying to be comforting but looking into David’s eyes he knew he was hiding his own pain.

Walking over David sat down and started taking off Patrick’s shoes, “Let’s get you comfy okay?”

He watched as David put the shoes in the closet and grabbed clothes from the drawer. He came back over and set them down and then gently guided Patrick to sit upright.

David softly talked to Patrick, anecdotes about the day or encouraging him to help him get dressed. The gentle touches and grazes soothed Patrick and David gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead before getting up from the bed to get dressed in his own comfy clothes.

Patrick felt the bed dip and then arms wrap around him, a hand firmly placed over his heart, the other hand gently stroking his arm.

“I know it’s been difficult honey,” David softly said, hot breath on Patrick’s neck, “but I just want to tell you that you’ve done a good job. You’ve had a lot on your plate and I just want to remind you that I’m here and I can help.”

Patrick felt tears roll down his face and he lifted his arm to wipe them away on his sleeve even though he knew it was a futile task. “It hurts,” he whispered, voice cracking, “and I can’t even imagine how my mom feels right now.”

“She’s probably doing as good as you, telling everyone that she’s alright because she’s being stubborn. If you want we can spend tomorrow with her.”

“That would be nice.” Patrick moved to place his hand on top of David’s that was over his heart.

David put his other hand on top of Patrick’s sandwiching his hand between both of David’s. He placed a kiss to the back of Patrick’s head, “We’ll get through it one day at a time.”

\---

Growing old with David was something Patrick took joy in, to spend his days with a partner he had loved for decades now was something he'd never take for granted. 

He walked over to the couch, David wrapping the blanket around him so they could share. Lying his head on David's shoulder he felt an arm wrap around him and soon David's fingers were grazing his collarbone, tracing aimless patterns across it. He reached over and took David's over and slotting them together like a puzzle. He loved the way it looked, seeing them fit so nicely. He rubbed his thumb across the top of David's hand, the time David had taken to moisturize them when he was younger meant they were surprisingly soft and not as wrinkled as expected, although he hadn't been a fan when more hair started to grow there and on his knuckles. 

Patrick moved to stop at where one ring sat, his hands too swollen by arthritis to wear the others at the moment. It had pained David when it first happened, so he had started to place a kiss on each finger on the mornings he couldn't wear the rings. It had become a habit he did every day now, regardless if the rings were worn. 

Lightly squeezing David's hand he turned to watch the movie David had been watching when he came in. 


	2. Patrick's hands

David hadn’t thought the handshake would be important. It was quick and professional, a firm grasp, but not too hard as if to crush his hand. Oh, if only he knew what those hands would eventually do to him.

Their first meeting had Patrick putting his hand on his mouth, dragging David’s attention away from what he was saying to stare at those lips. The way they quirked up as he listened to David, eyes bright almost as if to tease. David didn’t know what to think of it, it didn’t help that Patrick handed him the paperwork and sent him on his way.

When David agreed to have Patrick partner with him he didn’t account for the flutter in his stomach every time their hands brushed while they worked or curse the fact that he shoved his hands in his pocket all the time. Why would he hide them? They were strong and capable, able to lift heavy boxes, causing his forearms to flex, but careful enough to gently set the glass bottles on the displays following David’s specifications. It was probably good that Patrick kept his hands in his pockets so much otherwise David would spend most of the workday staring at them.

Kissing Patrick was better than he could imagine, but as Patrick’s fingers carefully applied under eye serum there was an intimacy there that David hadn’t experienced before. Their faces were close, if David just moved a bit they could be kissing. When Patrick pulled his hand back he did so, moving forward to close the gap. Patrick’s hands moved down to grip just above his knees, making David feel wrapped up and secure even though Patrick was tucked in between David’s knees.

Patrick didn’t touch David as much as David did to him, he knew that was because he was a more tactile person. He didn’t mind it, because when he did touch him it was with a reverence and respect that he hadn’t experienced in other relationships. To feel cherished and appreciated had him breaking out into a grin, and to see Patrick respond with a smile of his own fed the loop of smiles.

Patrick’s fingers had played him a song that had David holding back tears, hands that cradled his face, and dug into the softness of his sweaters when they were laying on the couch.

When they were at Stevie’s Patrick was finally able to touch David the way he had been craving to touch. They were hesitant touches at first, both from nerves and making sure David was okay. He guided Patrick, telling him what he liked, urging with his own hands to the places he wanted to be touched. Patrick eventually became confident in his touch, the strokes would speed up, David speaking words of encouragement only to groan out when Patrick pulled away, a teasing glint in his eye because of course Patrick loved to be a little shit and enjoyed the breathy pleas he could wring from David. Afterward, Patrick would stroke his cheek or place a hand on his chest, absentmindedly petting his chest hair until he caught his breath and with a quick peck on the cheek encourage David to get up and head to the bathroom or he’d head to the kitchen and bring back a snack, feeding small bites to David, ultimately resulting in David sucking and licking at his fingers and starting round two.

Being away from Patrick had David feeling miserable. It didn’t help that Patrick seemed to be understanding, letting him hide in the motel, and eventually start sending him gifts. The gifts were the bright spot in his day, knowing that Patrick had chosen these gifts especially for him and the obvious thought and consideration that went into them melted his heart. When David finished his olive branch and Patrick lifted David up onto his lap to give him a kiss he decided that while the gifts had indeed been nice having Patrick’s hands around him was infinitely better.

When Patrick first held his hand while they walked he had almost pulled it back in shock. It wasn’t something they did, they might brush their hands occasionally, but usually, Patrick’s hands were in his pockets. It had happened casually, one second they were walking side by side, the next they were  _ walking hand in hand _ . He looked towards Patrick who was looking straight ahead, but a small smile on his face. 

Sleeping with Patrick took some getting used to. First off, there was Ray, who meant well but David wasn’t a fan of getting woken up so early in the morning. Second, David really hadn’t shared a bed with someone, usually either he was doing the kicking out of bed or he was getting kicked out of a bed. He had shared a bed with Stevie multiple times but that had been different. The biggest surprise he learned was that Patrick cuddled in his sleep. Every Time they went to sleep, no matter what position they started out in, at some point in the night Patrick would reach out and either pull David in, hands touching his stomach or chest, or he’d cuddle up to David with his hands sometimes holding David’s.

While he hadn’t been thrilled about the hike he hadn’t expected it would end up like this, and now while he tried to slow his breathing and get rid of the hiccupy sobs Patrick was lovingly holding David’s hand as he took off the silver rings to replace them with the gold ones.

It didn’t seem possible that this day was already here. David watched as Patrick put the ring on his finger. It was one of the engagement ones, he didn’t think adding another ring to the mix would work, but the significance of it was different now. He didn’t know if it was a good thing that Patrick went first for the vows, David felt like the words couldn’t come out now, there was so much he wanted to tell Patrick, but he had written his vows and after a smile from Patrick a quick squeeze of his hand the words tumbled out. 

Patrick was stubborn about home repair. If it was something he deemed ‘simple’ he felt he could do it himself, no matter how many times David reminded him about the electrical work he had done for the Apothecary. The upside was that he could sit in a chair a safe distance away and watch as Patrick worked. Hands gripping a drill or hammer, sanding down surfaces, or assembling a bookcase all the while David read the instructions out loud, sometimes with a drink in his hand. When Patrick got into fiber arts, David would stare mesmerized at the yarn wrapped around his fingers, needles clacking, producing wobbly rows that he proudly showed David, until he was able to make David a sweater, which he enthusiastically wore.

\---

David got out of the shower and carefully dried himself off. Hearing the door click he looked up to see Patrick popping his head in before walking in and heading towards the medicine cabinet. He smiled and bent down slower than necessary to reach for a bottle of body milk, grin growing when he heard a small noise. 

“See anything you like?” 

He watched as Patrick’s eyes dragged across his body, causing a small thrill to go through him.

Patrick cleared his throat, “There’s a lot that I like.”

David held the bottle out to him, “Do you want to put this on me?”

Patrick quickly snatched the bottle, “Yes.”

He unscrewed the cap, pouring a small amount in one palm before kneeling down and starting at David’s knee and rubbing it in downward strokes, careful not to go too fast and pull at David’s leg hair. When he got to David’s thigh he pressed small kisses on the skin, moving towards his inner thigh before rubbing lotion over the area.

“You know if you move your head just a little bit we could be having some fun right now.”

Patrick grinned and gave the head of David’s dick a quick kiss before pouring more body milk onto his palm.

“You’re being such a fucking tease,” David said through a wide smile on his face.

“I’m just following through on the task I was given.”

“And you’re doing a very good job so please continue.”

David focused on Patrick’s hands as they moved throughout his body, applying light pressure in spots. Patrick stood up and started on his forearms. “Don’t forget the elbows.”

“I wouldn’t want to forget your sexy elbows.”

“I appreciated that it’s just that if you miss a spot it’s more obvious.”

Patrick looked up at David, a small smile on his face, “Don’t worry you’re in good hands.”

David smiled and gave him a quick kiss, “Oh, I know it.”

\---

Laying in bed reading had slowly become part of their routine. In the early years, they spent so much time working that having lazy mornings spent curled up in bed wasn’t always feasible. Now, after hiring a few workers, it was something they ended up doing most Sundays. What they did may change, but the reading was nice. 

Patrick was sitting up, with David laying on his stomach. Slowly, Patrick’s hand moved down until it was nestled in David’s hair. He occasionally ran his fingers through it or pet it in soft strokes. The first time it had happened David’s hair was still damp from his shower. Patrick hadn’t intended to touch David’s hair. He only did it when they were having sex, little tugs, and jerks, nothing more than that. But, his hair was curled just a little and Patrick noticed the small smile on David’s face as he did it. 

“So, does your hair curl or is this just an ‘only happens after it’s washed situation’?”

Patrick slowly ran his fingers through David’s hair before moving down to touch his neck and then his shoulders.

“No, it curls. I should show you the few photos I have from when I was a kid.”

Patrick gently moves David’s head so they’re looking at each other. “Would you ever let me see them?”

David tried to duck his head, “Um, maybe sometime? I don’t know.”

Patrick let the conversation drop, but steadily moved his hand back up to David’s head and let it rest there.

A few weeks later Patrick came back from a conference early. When he entered the apartment it was still early so he headed over to the bed, and  _ oh _ . David was sprawled out, sleeping on Patrick’s pillow, but the thing that caught Patrick’s eye were the curls. They were in every direction and looked soft. He walked over and knelt down so he was eye level, carefully he pushed a few stray curls away from David’s face. 

David’s eyes opened, a gentle smile on his face. “I didn’t think you would be back yet,” he said voice rumbly from sleep.

“It finished up early so I left as soon as I could.” Patrick gently pushed David as he got into bed. “Your hair though, did you mean to leave it like this?”

David scooted closer, sleepily giving Patrick a kiss on his jaw, “Mmm, I just didn’t feel like doing anything with it.”

“I just need you to know that I’m a fan.”

David’s eyes lit up, “You are, are you?”

Patrick nodded his head, “Very much so.”

David wiggled his way down Patrick, hands fumbling to undo his belt, “I think I can find a way for you to appreciate them.”

Patrick moved his hands to sink into the curls, “Shouldn’t I be doing this for you?”

David stopped trying to get Patrick’s pants off, “Oh, you can do something for me later.”

Patrick left the memory to look down at David. He stopped his hand and leaned down, “I think I found a gray hair.”

David moved so fast he almost hit Patrick and quickly headed to the bathroom. Patrick followed and saw David over by the mirror, fingers pushing hair away.

He walked over and wrapped his arms around David’s waist. “It was just one little hair, for all I know it could have been the lighting.” 

“Okay, but I need to know if it was or not.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, it just means you’re getting older.”

David stopped moving his fingers and Patrick saw his glare reflected in the mirror.

“Of course it doesn’t bother you. You have light-colored hair, no one is going to notice it. On me, it’s like a neon sign.”

“Obviously you get to choose what you do with it, but I like it. I spent my early years not knowing what I wanted,” Patrick moved his hands and slowly pulled David’s away from his hair, “And seeing you get older means I made the right decision. I can’t wait to grow old with you David Rose.” 

He turned David around, placing his hands on his face and slowly pulled him in a kiss. He felt David sag into the counter, arms winding around Patrick’s shoulders and pulling him in. 

When they pulled away Patrick gave him a teasing grin, “And I can’t forget that if you age in any way like your dad then it’s going to be fine.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you too,” Patrick said before going back in for another kiss. 

\---

Watching Patrick age was a gift that David knew he was privileged to have. Patrick teased him from time to time because he was older, thus experiencing some parts of aging before him. He took it in stride knowing Patrick wasn't far behind and it was a delightful concept to him. Seeing the wrinkles, graying hair, hell even the dietary changes were a physical reminder of the years they had spent together. 

He looked up and saw Patrick puttering towards the couch. He lifted the blanket up, wrapping it around Patrick once he sat down. Once snuggled in he wound his arm around Patrick's shoulder placing his hand there like it was a tether between the two. He felt Patrick's pulse beat as his fingers moved across Patrick’s collarbone. He saw Patrick take his hand. Patrick’s hands were a little rough, he’d need to remind Patrick to put on moisturizer, but strong like they always had been. He had watched liver spots start to form, skin losing elasticity protruding the veins. His fingers weren’t as nimble, but when he could, Patrick would still play on his guitar for David. 

He felt Patrick squeeze his hand and after a few moments, he squeezed his hand in response. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want to scream about the show with me come visit my tumblr [hullomoon](https://hullomoon.tumblr.com)


End file.
